This blog post will be about forgiveness and how it can heal our own souls and my own journey with forgiveness.
For people who have read my past posts, you know that I am a suicide survivor and that I have been betrayed by many of my friends for it. I went through a very rough patch after my attempt, but I am proud to say that I have made it through the hardest of parts. That being said, for months after my attempt, I held great anger and resentment towards the people who left me during my weakest times. Anger towards the people who said they were my friends, just to leave me. I had never felt more betrayed or angered in my life. At first, I used words of anger towards them. I made small acts of revenge on social media. All to get nowhere.
If I have learned anything from that, is that that anger hurt me then it hurt them. I also heard the song “Live Like You Were Dying” by Tim McGraw, and his words really resonated with me. Also the song “Learning” By Kane Brown. Both country songs that talk about forgiving and moving forward. About having a new story to tell and looking forward to a new chapter in your life. But the only way to do that is to make peace with the past and the people who hurt you the most.
I didn’t physically go up to them and forgive them, but in my mind, I forgave them. I wrote down my forgiveness towards them and let my anger go. It was very hard at first, but I feel so much better now. I feel as though I have left that peace of my life behind me.
I deleted all of our text messages and pictures. I have removed them from my social media, and learned to move on from our broken friendship. I am not running from my past, I am acknowledging it and moving on.
I believe to make yourself happier, you must let go of the wrongs done to you in your past. I forgive my old roommates and friends for leaving me. I forgive my ex boyfriend for calling me trash. I forgive the boy who tried to sexually assault me. I forgive the guy who caused me to get into an accident. I forgive everyone who has hurt me, for forgiving them, has helped me heal my emotional wounds.